The buck stops here

February 7, 2012 at 5:00 pm · Filed under Life Coaching

I think it’s safe to say that there is quite a strong blame culture in the UK; when we’re kids we blame our siblings, if we don’t live up to expectations our teachers are blamed (meanwhile they’re blaming lazy parents) and when you start work you find yourselves on both sides of the blade. The easiest one to blame is a partner  – if your kid has big ears, there’s no need to look any further than dumbo lying next to you! At the moment though, not a day seems to go by without hearing someone passing the buck for the reason we are living in troubled times. Depending on which way you swing, the current government are crippling us, but then some might say that their opponents left them in an impossible position. This was exacerbated by the bankers doing what they shouldn’t do – or were they just taking advantage of us as a greedy nation who wanted to have our Uggs and eat them? Or is it all just Ronald Macdonald’s fault? (Although after their recent emotional ad campaign, if I were pregnant I would definitely announce it to my family over a McChicken sandwich…) It gets a bit exhausting all this blaming though and really does it get us anywhere? I once met a man who blamed all his shortcomings and actions on his parents. Years of expensive therapy had brought him to the conclusion that he wasn’t to blame for anything, which was great, because he didn’t have to evaluate his own life because he had the perfect excuse for anything he fancied doing that might not be ethically right (personally I blame the therapist!).

If you blame your life away you are parting with the belief that you can change things for the better yourself, so you might as well give up now. To the contrary, decide that the buck stops here and suddenly you are empowered to really make a difference to your life.

So next time you find yourself blaming someone or something, take back that control. Ask yourself:

-          What could I have done or done better to avoid or at least lesson the outcome?

-          What will I do next time?

-          What could I do now to make the situation better myself?

-          Most importantly, what WILL I do right now?

Now go and do it!!!

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